Dreams Are Complicated

“When you were a little girl did you always dream of being a babysitter, um I mean daycare person?” My 7-year-old daughter asks on our drive to get frozen yogurt.

A momentary lump in my throat forms as I search for the right words. Dreams are complicated.

dreams are tricky

“I like taking care of children and babies, but when I was little I dreamed of being a writer or an actress,” I said. “That is why I write on the computer all the time. I get paid to take care of and teach little kids, but I write because I love it.”

Without missing a beat she says, “If you love writing, why don’t you get money from writing?”

My stomach feels like it is about to fall out of my body as she unknowingly zings me with one innocent question. An observation that on the surface seems so rational and obvious, yet is marred in a complex web of answers. I search for the words when she continues, “I never want to have two jobs. I want to be a vet. I’m going to have a big dog like Beethoven.”

I smile and say, “That sounds like a wonderful dream. I write because it makes me happy and I don’t need money to want to write.” I decide not to say anything else. I tuck the conversation away for another day. Instead, I make a secret wish that all her dreams and plans, however they may change, will one day come true. I want my children to discover what makes their heart sing. I want them to understand that following your dreams and pursing your passion is not always intrinsically tied to how much money you can make. That there is so much more to dreaming than even I understand.

We arrive at our local frozen yogurt shop and I watch her load her chocolate/strawberry swirled concoction with way too much candy, but I don’t say a word. She giggles and smiles.

I think about her question a little more and realize I would answer it completely differently if asked at this moment. She and her sister and brothers  are the real dream. I write because it makes me happy, but being their mother is what I have always dreamed about. It’s why I do everything. It is why I choose to run a daycare. It’s why I work so hard. It’s also in a way why I am able to write.

Dreams are complicated, indeed.


My Perfectly Flawed Motherhood Simplified Interview

I recently had the honor of being interviewed by Katie O’Brien, who is an amazing life coach for moms, on her Motherhood Simplified interview series spotlighting real moms across the country. It was the first time I participated in a live interview of this kind and I was a little nervous because I wasn’t sure what she would ask. The […]


My Sunrise Above The Clouds

After flying for what seems a long time, I rub my eyes and catch the glint of red-orange peering through the horizon. The bright hues seem to sit on top of the billowy clouds. I sleepily think how beautiful the sunset is. Only to realize I already saw the sun slide away and vanish hours […]

I am a Sports Mom

I Am A Sports Mom

I am a sports Mom. I thought I knew what this meant. I was comfortable with my role. Register your child. Drive your child to practices and games. Cheer for your child without jeering the other coaches (even if you want to sometimes). Devote many hours every weekend to your child’s activities. Buy snacks and drinks. Refill […]

The Bouqs Company

Everyone Loves Flowers – #BOUQLOVE

I was given the opportunity to become an ambassador for a new online flower delivery service called The Bouqs Company! At first, I wondered if I wanted to do it or not, but then I remembered that everyone loves flowers. Flowers make me happy and remind me of new beginnings and Spring. So, I figured, why […]

Refuse to say sorry

I Refuse to Say Sorry

I am a strong, independent woman. I work hard and do not back away from controversy. I speak up for myself and never allow anyone to place me into an inferior role. I am smart and I feel like I carry myself with authority. Yet, I find myself apologizing for everything. You bump into me, “sorry.” I interrupt […]

Zero Prostate Cancer Run/Walk

We Honored Daddy at Zero Prostate Cancer Run/Walk

I have always looked forward to firsts. The first time I drove a car. The first time I saw my baby’s face. The first time I spent the night in my own house. But, not all firsts feel great. I am learning that some firsts really hurt. Like the first time you lose a parent […]

More Recent Posts

We 'Deserve All Good Things Life Has to Offer'

We 'Deserve All Good Things Life Has to Offer'

June 13th, 2014

It took a long time to understand that I deserve everything life has to offer. That I deserve love, [...]

No thumbnail available

Would Your Parenting Pass the Scrutiny of a Video Camera?

June 10th, 2014

"To err is human; to forgive, divine" - Alexander Pope I think people need to remember that parents[...]

My Adventures in Parenting Solo This Weekend

My Adventures in Parenting Solo This Weekend

June 8th, 2014

My husband went out-of-town this weekend to visit his brother in California. It was actually a surpr[...]

Please subscribe to Tiny Steps Mommy! I promise to share my heart, not spam.
Subscribe Me