This blog post is Part 2 in a two-part series.
A little more than a week ago I confessed to being a Fantasy Football Wife (FFW) and the response was incredible.
The sisterhood of FFWs is real and it is growing by the day. Just yesterday, I checked Google Analytics and was interested to see that the top search engine terms directing traffic to TinyStepsMommy.com were all related to Fantasy Football. Here are three real and unaltered phrases people used to find my blog:
“how many hours does your husband spend on fantasy football”
“how many wives are ok with husbands spending a weekend at a fantasy football draft”
“how to be supportive of fantasy football”
My good friend who works at CustomInk.com even shared a t-shirt design in honor of this sacred club and it is starting to go viral.
Apparently, spouses everywhere are freaking out as their partner’s teams are being drafted and finalized for the start of the NFL season on September 5, 2012.
So, what do we do? Spend 17 weeks every year rolling our eyes? Do we go crazy wondering why our husbands insist on watching multiple games at once while biting their fingernails?
No. We do the opposite. We embrace the craziness and take back Sundays for ourselves.
Here is the plan. Always start by offering a carrot. I suggest gifting your Fantasy fanatic with a nicely wrapped collection of Fantasy magazines. Yes, there are entire magazines developed for the fantasy football devotees. To me it is a collection of endless numbers and abbreviations I can’t decode. To the Fantasy fanatic it is gold. It gives career statistics and projected numbers on players representing every position. It gives recommendations on draft picks and endless lists of who is hot and who is not.
Once you have given this peace offering, you need to set the ground rules for the season. For me, I have come to terms with the fact that my husband likes to sit and watch endless games on Sundays. I know that unless it is an important family function, I will not convince him that Sunday would be a great time to go apple picking, or to go to the community festival down the street. Our family activities have to be scheduled on Saturdays or on Sundays before kick-off at 1 pm, EST.
I used to fight about it every week. I used to resent the whole thing. Until I realized that if he is home on Sunday, then he can stay home with our children while I have some me time. So, this is the deal we created. The compromise I am suggesting to all the FFWs. Let your spouse sit on his butt in front of the television all day long. Do not nag or complain about it, as long as he doesn’t complain when you leave the house without the children for some well-deserved alone time. Yes, you are reading this right. In my house, football Sunday is when my husband cares for all four of our children all day long, while I get my nails done, shop without the whining of little ones asking for a toy or special treat, and meet friends for lunch. I have reclaimed Sunday.
In fact, I got so good at this compromise that last year I woke up every Sunday looking forward to the day. I made breakfast for the family and then depending on the weather and/or schedule, would take the kids to the playground or to some local event early. Then I would put the baby to sleep for an afternoon nap and get in my car to leave for several uninterrupted hours alone.
Do I enjoy hearing my husband’s long-winded phone conversations and arguments about trading players and his oh so important keeper league, which is a fantasy football league that allows you to keep a certain number of players from one year to the next? (BTW, I hate that I know this). Absolutely not.
Do I think his time and efforts would be better served elsewhere? Of course.
Do I think his devotion to this activity is ridiculous and childish? Yes, at times.
But, do I think it is my job to stifle his interests and make him quit? No, not at all. This is his hobby and passion. It makes him happy and is harmless.
Marriage and all relationships are about balance. I accept my role as a FFW. I embrace it. I laugh about it and roll my eyes all the time. But, the truth is, I don’t always hate it. Sometimes (and I can’t believe I’m admitting this) I think it is cute how ridiculous my husband and his brothers and friends are about this dorky activity. I mean they actually argue with straight faces about which friend is “colluding” to stack their team. They have intense negotiations about trades and they sometimes forget the “Fantasy” part of what they are doing.
But, if it wasn’t Fantasy Football, I’m sure it would be something else driving me crazy. How would I feel if my husband was a hard core Trekkie that wore fake ears in public? Or a renaissance re-enactor that refused to shower? I’m not sure, but I don’t think I could simply compromise my problem away by leaving the kids at home, while I shopped. Now then, there might be a real problem.
To continue the discussion please leave a comment or join me on the Tiny Steps Mommy Facebook page.
In case you missed it, here is: “Yes, I’m a Fantasy Football Wife (Part 1)”