Discovering the Bonds of a Brother-Sister Relationship

When I found out I was pregnant with my third child only six months after giving birth to my second I cried. I was happy, yet terrified. I cried again when I found out I was having a daughter after two sons.  I doubted whether I would know what to do. Whether I could be enough or give enough to these two babies so close in age.  I worried what the brother-sister relationship would look like. This was uncharted territory for me and my husband.

I grew up with three sisters and my husband grew up with four brothers. We both understood our own kind and had no idea what it meant to have a sibling of the opposite sex. Would they be close? Would they fight? Would it impact the relationship between the two boys? Would she feel left out? Could they share rooms? Would the bathroom be an issue?

It’s amazing what you worry about when you are pregnant. It’s even more amazing how many of these worries dissolve  the moment your baby is placed in your arms.

The closets may be filled with either pink or blue, but the love you feel is the same. I knew everything would be okay the moment my sons were introduced to their sister. Both the eight-year-old and the 16-month-old seemed to melt under the power of this baby girl.

On days when I struggled to balance the needs of three, especially two so close in age, I watched the way my babies interacted. I witnessed what it means to grow up with a best friend – a partner in everything. A reminder of what it was like for me and my sisters.

What I find fascinating is that on the surface my almost twins are opposites. AD is outgoing and loves attention at any cost. B is introverted and prefers to hide from the spotlight. AD is in a perpetual state of movement, while B is content to sit and color or create by herself for hours.

Yet somehow they are a perfect match. Yes, they fight at times. Yes, they like to bother each other. Yes, they compete and get jealous. But, for the most part there is just love. They bathed together for years. They shared a room for years. They still crawl into each other’s beds when they are scared. They share secrets and have inside jokes. When one is sick the other worries and they both know what is happening with each other in school. Their relationship is a gift.

Brother-sister relationship

I feel blessed that I have both boys and girls – two of each now. I feel even more blessed by the amount of love there is between everyone. I get such joy from watching the 15-year-old and 8-year-old boys play basketball or wrestle together. I love when the girls dress up together and pretend to play princess. I especially love when all four (yes even the 15-year-old occasionally partakes) chase each other and fall on the floor laughing and tickling.

My greatest wish is for my children to remain connected. That they always remember this bond and carry on a closeness beyond childhood.

My greatest lesson is that the brother-sister relationship can be just as strong as any other because gender is not what matters. It’s the love. It’s always the love that counts most.


Nicole Dash is a writer, blogger and business owner who lives in the suburbs outside Washington, DC with her husband and four children. She started her career as a journalist and copy editor. She also managed public relations and corporate communications for a national franchise company, but in 2006 started a child care business. In 2012, she launched Tiny Steps Mommy, a lifestyle and parenting blog that quickly gained a following and connected her to an expansive group of women-owned businesses. In 2013, she started a digital marketing consulting business that focused on growing community in an authentic way. Through those connections she was inspired to open Play, Work or Dash, a coworking space that also offers onsite childcare up to three hours per day. It is where like-minded professionals pursue their business goals with the extra level of support parents desire; a place where you "bring your kids to work." She is an active member of the Washington, DC blogger community. She has been published on The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Mamalode and Pop Sugar.




  1. Blanca Alvarado says:

    Family love and unity is everything! I love them!

  2. I love this, this week I blogged about Parenting a Little Mi and I talk about the bond of my two. Like you I worried about their bond while pregnant. While yours are very close, mine are 7 years a part. Yet we worried about the same thing.

    It has been the most amazing journey watching them grow and bond. Like you I hope they stay connected like this forever. They are all they have.
    Michellette “Mimi” Green recently posted…The Nori Chronicles – Parenting a Little MiMy Profile

  3. This is just so precious… I have one of each, and their bond is both irritating and passionate. It’s been so amazing watching them nurture this relationship and I can only think it will get stronger as the years go on.
    Chris Carter recently posted…1000 Voices Speak…For CompassionMy Profile

  4. So sweet! I am just 19months older than my sister, and we are SUPER close to this day. She’s my best friend.
    Meredith recently posted…Fruit By the Foot Printables for Birthdays and Valentine’s DayMy Profile

  5. I’m kinda jealous.. I grew up with two brothers, one of whom is 15 months younger than I am (I was adopted after my mom was told she couldn’t have children) and then BOOM!! Sadly, my son will likely be my only one (I have a *crappy* step daughter but am OLD so won’t have any more on my own)… I love my brothers so much and yay for you!!
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