Why Does Anyone Make a Choice to Change?

“So what makes you unhappy?” It’s a question that stopped me in my tracks. Am I really unhappy? Or just wishing to improve certain aspects of my life? Can you desire change without being miserable? I pondered this for days. Why does anyone make a choice to change?

Is it jealousy, fear, anger, sadness, discontentment… Or is it because we are so happy that we want to expand and grow? It seems ridiculous even asking because as I write this I am struck with the truth. People aren’t usually motivated to change unless their emotions are challenged in some way. Why would anyone who is completely satisfied want to change?

We have to be honest and accept that change is usually initiated by the acknowledgement that something isn’t working in our lives. In order to change, we need to call a spade a spade. We need to stop pretending that our true feelings don’t exist. We have to open our hearts and connect with our emotions to begin any transformation.

Change is a choice @tinystepsmommy


After the birth of my last child, I was feeling a bit lost. Perhaps it was post-partum depression… I’m not sure. But, I had this feeling of hollowness. This nagging feeling like I needed to do more. I was antsy and searching. So, I started to write. I allowed my creativity to flow and that hole started to fill. I gained confidence and a new purpose. I grabbed a piece of me and shared it with others. I stepped outside my comfort zone and met new people.

I was able to change because I was honest enough to admit that what I was doing was not enough. I called out my feelings of discontentment and then took action.

Last week, I wrote about my need to change. I hinted at being unhappy with certain aspects of my life, but I didn’t say what it was. I left this part out because I was not ready and I was scared. Now I know it is necessary to open up.  I can’t make a change unless I am completely honest.

For me, my discontentment has everything to do with my health. I have gained a lot of weight this year and I have fought many feelings of sluggishness. I know this is connected. I know that my choice to juggle too many things, combined with my general sadness over the loss of a parent had taken me on a downward spiral. I turn to food in times of stress and pain. It’s a cycle I’ve dealt with my entire life.

So, I am calling myself out on this and taking steps to change my behavior. I am reprioritizing and trying to get back to a place that feels right. I am motivating myself by being honest about my feelings. I am simplifying and working on me – from the inside out.

True change is difficult. But, without honesty it is impossible. I am slowly working toward real change. I am taking realistic steps to make changes that will hopefully stay with me for a lifetime. I don’t want to jump into some fad diet or unrealistic exercise routine.

I just want to feel healthy. I don’t crave perfection. I don’t want to get into “bikini body” shape (seeing as I haven’t worn one since I was a teenager). I just want to get to the place where I don’t think of this area of my life and feel disappointed.

Who else is in the same place? Do you have a nagging feeling that you need more? Deep down are you discontented with something? Are you ready to call yourself out?



Nicole Dash is a writer, blogger and business owner who lives in the suburbs outside Washington, DC with her husband and four children. She started her career as a journalist and copy editor. She also managed public relations and corporate communications for a national franchise company, but in 2006 started a child care business. In 2012, she launched Tiny Steps Mommy, a lifestyle and parenting blog that quickly gained a following and connected her to an expansive group of women-owned businesses. In 2013, she started a digital marketing consulting business that focused on growing community in an authentic way. Through those connections she was inspired to open Play, Work or Dash, a coworking space that also offers onsite childcare up to three hours per day. It is where like-minded professionals pursue their business goals with the extra level of support parents desire; a place where you "bring your kids to work." She is an active member of the Washington, DC blogger community. She has been published on The Washington Post, Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Mamalode and Pop Sugar.