Featured Essay

disappointment

Disappointment

Sometimes disappointment feels like a physical punch to the gut. A reminder that not everything happens the way you want or plan. I first experienced this feeling when I was seven-years-old and my parents sat me down to tell me that they wouldn't be living together anymore. No one asked me what I thought because it wasn't about me or about what I wanted. It was a situation out of my control. What I didn't realize then, is that this feeling of helplessness isn't reserved for seven-year-old children. As you grow up there are many times you are faced with situations that are simply out of your control. Situations that create a hollow stubborn ache that goes against everything your heart and mind wishes. Part of becoming an adult is recognizing and accepting this as part of life. I find it ironic that my very last post was about ending up where we are supposed to be, because today that isn't giving me much comfort. Intellectually, I know that things happen in due time. That you can't control everything. That life is messy and unpredictable and sometimes frustrating. Today, this understanding isn't giving me much comfort either. Today, I just want to kick something or throw myself on the ground like one of the two-year-olds in my daycare. Today, I want to find someone to blame and just yell into the air. Today, I am disappointed. My disappointment and frustration is wrapped up in a project I have been working on for nearly five months. A project I have not shared publicly because I was waiting for "the perfect time" to share. A project that would have allowed me -- in partnership with my mother-in-law -- to open a daycare center and preschool at a location outside of our homes. It was a dream that was literally one week from coming true. May 12 was going to be the big day. The day I could launch the website I already built and share my amazing news with the world. But, this project has suddenly been placed into limbo because of a situation completely out of our … [Read More...]

Recent Essays

We end up where we are meant to be - @TinystepsMommy

Do We End Up Exactly Where We Are Meant to Be?

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how we end up doing what we do. Do we set our own course in life, or does life set its course for us? Is there a larger calling for each of us, or do we just fall into doing something out of necessity? And is it possible that regardless of our plans […]

Mommy, I want to be famous - @tinystepsmommy

‘Mommy, I Want to be Famous’

On Saturday morning I was mindlessly driving my seven-year-old daughter from her acting class to my nine-year-old son’s lacrosse game with the radio on when it happened. The moment I wish I could have avoided. If only I had been blaring music from my somewhat outdated and slightly embarrassing playlist instead of allowing my daughter to […]

It's My Job to Remember - even if my children can't. @tinystepsmommy

It’s My Job to Remember

I wrote this post nearly two years ago and nothing has changed. I want to remember. I want to cling to so many precious moments. It’s not always easy to do, but I try my best and am grateful for my blog. Even if you don’t want to share your memories with others, it’s incredible […]

Faith is like love - @tinystepsmommy

Breaking My Silence: Why I Believe Faith is Like Love

“Why aren’t you writing? I want to see you on the computer writing again.” This may be the most romantic thing my husband has ever said. He knows how much I need to write. He understands how not writing weighs on me. More importantly, he believes in me. So, today I am going to break my […]

impetus for change is compassion. #1000voices @tinystepsmommy

The Impetus for Change is Compassion – #1000Speak

Sometimes when I read about the suffering of others, especially the suffering of children, my stomach turns ever so slightly. Emotions begin to creep in — sadness, discomfort, guilt, frustration, fear. My heart palpitates and my mind wanders. So, I take a deep breath and try to focus on the people right in front of […]

This is Marriage - @TinystepsMommy

This Is Marriage

The greenish-blue hue of the cheaply made hair net matches his eyes. The blankets cover his body and the IV bag hangs behind him. He is about to be wheeled into surgery – a minor foot surgery to remove a broken sesamoid bone which has caused pain for nearly two years. I hold my breath […]

Baby Fever is Real @Tinystepsmommy

Baby Fever Is Real – Help Me Shut It Down

Baby fever is real. It’s a scientifically proven feeling that can creep in from time to time. In my late twenties and early thirties, it was all I could think about. I wanted a big family. I wanted to surround myself with little ones and absorb all of their baby cuteness. I didn’t care about […]

I Will Always Remember Daddy

In Dreams You Are Always Close

It is has been a year since we said goodbye. A year without your Hawaiian shirts in the summer and brown sweaters in the winter. A year without your cheesy jokes and your sometimes inappropriately timed sense of humor. A year without your advice and support. My car broke down and I cried because who else would […]

Darkness vs light - A battle of wills

Darkness VS Light: A Battle of Wills

From the time I was 6 months old, I had a preference for light. As my mother recalls, I would cry in my crib until she flipped on my clown lamp. I was hooked early and spent years sleeping with my overhead light on. Even now as an adult, I use a nightlight to sleep. […]

A Few More

Why Does Anyone Make a Choice to Change?

Why Does Anyone Make a Choice to Change?

"So what makes you unhappy?" It's a question that stopped me in my tracks. Am I really unhappy? Or j[...]
Faith and Trust: Building a Relationship With Your Home Daycare Provider

Faith and Trust: Building a Relationship With Your Home Daycare Provider

When I started Tiny Steps Mommy nearly three years ago, I would write about my kids or about issues [...]
I am Grateful for Lifelong Friends

I am Grateful for Lifelong Friends

Friendships that persevere are not necessarily the most perfect ones. Sometimes you can't even pinpo[...]
Change Starts Within Our Heart

Change Starts Within Our Heart

On Monday, I declared 2015 the year of change. It's what I wish for all of us. The ability to not on[...]