Tag Archives: Child

Why Being a Mother is a Gift (aka Doesn’t Suck)

Every once in a while, when you least expect it, you are reminded why being a mother is a gift (aka doesn’t suck).

I was rubbing my neck trying to steal a few minutes at the computer after a very long day of sitting outside on a freezing windy field to watch my oldest son play in a lacrosse tournament. I left the house at 7:15 am and returned at 5:30 pm to little ones that demanded my attention. I was drained, cranky, and frustrated because I still had a lot of chores to do and it was Sunday night.

My five-year-old daughter was quietly coloring, while I checked my Facebook account when she said, “It takes a lot of energy to be an author Mommy.” This took me off guard and of course got my attention. I looked at her and said, “You are right it does take a lot of energy. Do you know I have always wanted to be an author? In fact, I write stories all the time.” Her eyes lit up and I felt like she was seeing me for the first time. She jumped out of her chair and said, “I want to tell a story.”

So, I pulled up Microsoft Word and she dictated a story without a pause. I just typed her words. This is her unedited story:

The Princess and the Evil Guys

Once there was a princess. And she had a prince. She loved to play out in the park, but suddenly she heard a big bad wolf. Who was saying rah rah rah. She was on the swings when she heard all the noises. And then the Prince was gone. And then the dragon came. He was not a nice one because he sprayed fire. The wolf and the dragon made friends. The princess was going to run away but the big bad wolf stopped her with the dragon. Then the prince who was underground saw the princess’s footsteps and saw that the wolf and dragon were getting so close. Then the prince came back and killed the dragon and the wolf with two sharp knives in their hearts and then they were dead. And then the princess said to the wolf and the dragon “I hope you never come back mister.” The prince and the princess decided to go home, but realized they were lost in the woods because they got distracted by all the monsters. And then they saw a unicorn. A very good one. The unicorn took them back home to their house. They were so surprised and happy. The End!

Even though her story gets a little violent (what’s with the knives in the heart part all about?). And even though I secretly wish the princess had come to her own rescue instead of depending on the prince to save her, I was bursting with pride. Not because it is a Pulitzer Prize winning story, but because she was so excited to create a story with me. It’s hard to explain why this touched me so much, but I compare it to a father who loves football and one day unprompted his child tosses him the ball and asks to play.

It was a gift. A sort of payment rendered for putting in so many extra Mommy hours. More importantly, it was a reminder to focus on the small seemingly inconsequential moments. It truly is when the magic happens.

Please feel free to share a recent experience that reminds you why being a Mom is a gift (or at least doesn’t suck that bad) by leaving a comment or visiting the Tiny Steps Mommy Facebook page.

A Pledge to Prevent Heat Stroke Tragedy: Will You Take It?

http://www.safercar.gov/parents/heatstroke.htmTwenty-three children died and many more were injured this summer after being left unattended in a hot car, according to the National Highway Safety Administration (NTSA). Sometimes these heat stroke deaths and injuries occur when a child gets into an unlocked vehicle to play unbeknownst to the parent. Other times (54% according to KidsandCars.org) a parent or caregiver who is not used to transporting a child as part of their daily routine inadvertently forgets a sleeping child in the back of the vehicle. It is every parent’s worst nightmare come true.

Whenever I hear about a story like this I shudder out of horror, but I also shudder because on some level I understand how it is possible. We have all driven on autopilot before. We have all been overly occupied with an impending meeting. When my first son was only an infant, his father and I switched off the drop-offs to daycare. One morning I was thinking about a presentation while driving to work. I got halfway there when I realized I forgot to drop the baby off at daycare. He was asleep in his car seat and I wasn’t focusing. I immediately turned around and cried out of frustration the whole way to drop him off. It was a momentary lapse and no one was hurt, but this moment of stupidity still haunts me. I think about it every time I learn about a story of a child death in a car. I like to think that I would have noticed. I would not have just run out of the car. I would not have gone through my entire day without remembering. But, how many of those 23 children’s parents thought the same thing?

In an effort to address these preventable tragedies, The U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) and the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) issued a joint letter last week to mobilize the network of Head Start and child care providers nationwide.

According to the letter, Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and Health and Human Services (HHS) Secretary Kathleen Sebelius called on the nation’s Head Start directors and child care providers to take advantage of the “Look Before You Lock” campaign materials by sharing them with staff, families, and other community members.

“Safety is our top priority for everyone on our roadways, but we have a special responsibility to protect our most vulnerable passengers,” said Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood. “While parents and caregivers are the first line of defense, everyone has a role to play in preventing these needless tragedies.”

The campaign includes safety education and training for parents and caregivers, as well a cooperative pledge. The pledge asks families and providers to work together to inform each other if a child is expected to arrive at home or at daycare and does not.

As a parent, I see how this makes complete sense. But, as a child care provider speaking candidly, I am skeptical. I like to think that this simple pledge will make a difference, but I fear this will not be enough.

I have repeatedly made it known that I want parents to call or e-mail or even text me if their child is ill, has an appointment, or is simply staying home for the day. Many of my clients are great about letting me know their plans. Others, however, never inform me. Sometimes I call to check-up out of worry, but other times I am so consumed with what I am doing that I may not have the time to call or e-mail until naptime. And when I do call some parents seem annoyed by my checking-up on them and their child (not always the best incentive for calling).

But, perhaps with this pledge the result will be different. Perhaps when parents and providers both sign this document committing to call, everyone will do their part. Parents won’t think I am being intrusive for calling and they will understand that calling is a safety issue not an issue of courtesy.

I can’t help wondering though, if I sign this pledge will I be blamed in the event of a tragedy for not calling a parent to ask why his or her child did not make it to daycare as expected? Will I share the guilt for such a preventable tragedy? It is enough to keep me up at nights. But, maybe this is the motivation needed to ensure that everyone does their part. Maybe this fear and awareness is the key to saving lives. Maybe it’s time that more people step-up and make some effort to prevent these tragedies. What do you think? Will this pledge make a difference?

Here are some tips from the NHTSA and its safety partners to prevent heatstroke incidents:

• Never leave a child unattended in a vehicle – even if the windows are partially open or the engine is running and the air conditioning is on;

• Make a habit of looking in the vehicle – front and back – before locking the door and walking away;

• For caregivers transporting children by van or bus, check every seat to make sure no child is still in the vehicle before locking and leaving the vehicle;

• Ask the Head Start or child care provider to call if the child does not show up for care as expected;

• Do things that serve as a reminder a child is in the vehicle, such as placing a cell phone, purse or briefcase in the back seat to ensure no child is accidentally left in the vehicle, writing a note or using a stuffed animal placed in the driver’s view to indicate a child is in the car seat; and,

• Teach children a vehicle is not a play area and store keys out of a child’s reach.

To learn more about NHTSA’s “Where’s baby? Look before you lock.” campaign, visit www.SaferCar.gov/heatstroke.

Download the Pledge

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Do Your Children Save Their Best Worst Behavior For Home?

Is your child a terror at home, but a complete angel in public? Do you wonder why your child always devolves in a puddle after entering your house? Perhaps your child is a “House Devil, Street Angel.”

Out of my four children, one is always testing my patience. For the first four years of his life, I was convinced he would be unruly at school and have behavioral problems. I worried day and night. Then I realized he was only acting this way at home. He is by all accounts a well-behaved child in school. He has never been in trouble or been disrespectful to any authority figure and he is heading into first grade.

It took some time, but I finally realized that his acting out was a sort of compliment – at least this is what helps me sleep at night. It also made me realize that I was the one needing to change.

I write about my experience as a mother and child care provider on this subject in a recent blog post for DC Metro Mom. Please visit Be Proud of Your Little ‘House Devil’ to read more.

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Photo Credit: Parenting.org